THE REAL FRIENDSHIP(FRIENDSHIP IN TRUE SENSE)                   
You may ask what benefit we may get out of such good company. Man’s good as well as bad features receive their final shape when he mixes with other members of the society. In this context, we can take the example of the dust that settles on the surface of the earth. Although such dust does not have wings and cannot fly away by itself, by acquiring the good company of wind, it can get off the earth. The same dust settles down and cannot move upwards if it acquires association with water. Iron, which is hard, black and dull becomes soft, red and shining when it makes friendship with fire. The same iron, acquires a lot of rust and loses all its strength when it makes friendship with dirt and moisture. All these modifications are coming because of association with others in the environment. It is generally not possible for anything to change or transform by itself without the help of external associations. Even a newly born baby learns to walk, talk, run, read and write only with the help of its mother and the love and affection the latter shows. Without the love and affection from the mother, the baby will grow like an animal and will not be able to talk, walk or do things which other human beings can do and are trained to do. Animals which are born in the forest, grow and move about in the forest and have certain features which are special to them. If the same animals are given appropriate training by a circus manager, we can make them do things which other animals cannot do. Even birds are able to utter good words in an understandable and clear manner if we give them good training and keep them in good company. Thus, the kind of sacred life which you wish to lead and the aspirations which you have in your mind about the type of life which you want to live can be achieved if you are in the company of good people. You have to make friendship with good people and follow their example in your daily routine. This is the appropriate age for you to lead such a life and put yourself in the company of elders. During this age, you will be able to develop good ideas and good conduct and you should make a firm determination to do so. At this important stage of your life, you should dedicate yourself to the service of your country and to the service of your parents. On the contrary, if you spend your time in bad company and wander about the streets like stray dogs, whistling like foxes, you will only be wasting your life. Time wasted is life wasted.(SathyaSai Speaks on 24/05/1973)
                          

All potentialities are the reflections of mental feelings. We should have friendship with our mind. Once you develop friendship with your mind, you will be successful. According to Indian culture, it is only when you have true friendship, you can really experience God. Listening, singing, chanting, service, salutation, worship, servitude, friendship, self-surrender. It is the friendship that leads to self-surrender. Without friendship, you cannot reach the state of self-surrender. If you say that, it is only verbal or vocal declaration but nothing effective in terms of action.(SathyaSai Speaks on 14/01/2003)

These days, it is not uncommon to see evil doers [seemingly] get away with it while good people suffer. It appears as if someone commits the crime and someone else gets punished – this is how things are in the world. Here is an example. You are sleeping in your room at night but mosquitoes disturb you. So, next day, you use a mosquito net but it still does not help because a few mosquitoes have sneaked into the net. You now resort to a drastic remedy – you spray Flit all over. You cannot identify the specific mosquitoes that bit you but you are not bothered; you spray over all the mosquitoes you can see. Only one or two mosquitoes bit you but now hundreds are dying. Why is this so? Because of friendship. Even if you are innocent, you have to suffer if you keep the company of evil doers. It is to drive this home that Swami often says: “Tell Me your company and I shall tell who you are.” Once bad thoughts get in, they multiply rapidly and soon drive out kshama; and kshama once lost is not easily regained. You must therefore protect this virtue at all costs and see that you never lose it, especially because with kshama you can achieve anything.(SathyaSai Speaks on 25/05/2000)

Shankara was in the position of a teacher for the entire world and he propagated many ideals amongst the people. Amongst them, the concept of non-dualism or the philosophy of Adwaitha, is an important one. Along with his disciples, he taught these things, travelled all over the country, stressed the importance of the aspect of Atma and explained to people the nature of Paramatma or God. He stressed the importance of having Satsang or spending your time in good company. He taught that for one’s liberation, Satsang or good company is an important step and even the first step. When we make an enquiry as to what the word Satsang means, we will come to interpret it by saying.(SathyaSai Speaks on 24/05/1973)

Budhdhihi karmanusaarini!!” One’s intellect develops based on one’s good and bad actions. Bad actions lead to bad mind and good actions lead to good mind. Therefore, one’s actions are solely responsible for one’s state of mind. Hence to indulge in good actions one has to keep good company. As is the company so is the mind. ‘Tell me your company I shall tell you what you are!!’ It can be proved that as is the company so is the person. Therefore, one must develop good qualities by keeping good company.(SathyaSai Speaks on 08/03/1997)

You should acquire the qualities of truth, prema and forbearance, as also the quality of sacrifice. This period of your life is like the morning time of the day. If you, as you commence your life, turn your mind towards good and towards God, you will be starting your life in a manner where bad qualities do not haunt you, ego does not haunt you, jealousy and other undesirable qualities do not haunt you. There is a small example for this. In the morning time, the sun rises. If at that time you face the sun and look at it, you will notice that you have a long shadow but it is behind you. If, on the other hand, you do not direct your sight towards the sun but turn towards your shadow, you will notice that your own shadow, a long one at that, is leading you and it will appear as if this long shadow is showing you the path. In this example, you are the Jiva Tattwa and your shadow is the Maya (illusion). If it is your desire to overcome Maya and leave it behind you, however fast you may walk, you will never get rid of Maya if it is in front of you. On the other hand, you turn your sight towards the sun, you can overcome Maya even as the shadow is behind you. In the same manner, your mind, thoughts, organs and the body constitute the Maya or the shadow. If you want to get away from them, you will have to turn your vision inwards and towards your Atma. When you do this, you will be able to shake off the Maya. Therefore, you should make an attempt to join the Satsang and derive all the benefits that accrue from joining good company. Good company leads you to detachment and by detachment you will achieve self-realization. Shankara has given many verses and each verse is to be regarded as a shining lamp of knowledge. You should put the contents thereof into practice and rectify your life.(SathyaSai Speaks on 24/05/1973)

Kabir looked at good company as well as bad company and said that both of them should be respected. At this, the disciples questioned him how it is that both good company and bad company deserve to be respected. To this, Kabir replied that there is some trouble to the world from the bad people and there is trouble to the world also from the good people. In order that there is no trouble from either quarter, he is paying respects to both of them. The disciples then asked how any harm can result from good people. Kabir smiled and said that association with bad people causes great discomfort. On the contrary, separation from good people also causes great discomfort, and therefore, he was praying to both. There should not be separation from good people and there should not be association with bad people. You must always be praying that both these things may come your way. This is my blessing to you. I hope you will be able to get good company always.(SathyaSai Speaks on 24/05/1973)

Give up bad company. Run away from bad company. You should never be in bad company. The reason is, you will also become bad. Tell me your company, I shall tell you what you are! Never be in bad company. If possible, try to change the bad to good. Run away from bad company. It is not enough if you do that. Join good company. In ten litres of milk, if you add one litre of water, it also becomes milk. The water that has no value, gets value added to it. In ten litres of water, if you mix one litre of milk, the milk will lose its value. If good people are in bad company, they will lose their value. We should be in good company. Good company is required. We should join in satsang occasionally. Only then would it be possible to have good qualities, good actions, good feelings and good heart. Therefore, you should be in good company. What is the third line (of the stanza)? Do meritorious acts day in and day out. What is this merit? Are they acts of charity? Those are only worldly acts. What is real merit? Body is for the welfare of others, Paropakara. The three syllables "Para" "upa" "kara" make up Paropakara. Para - Atma, Upa - proximity, Kara - go. Go close to the spirit. Be near divinity. That is the real Paropakara. Do meritorious acts. Be with God. Do with God. See with God. Drink with God. Eat with God. Have the divine approach all the time. This is real Paropakara - help. Do meritorious acts continously. Day in and day out, whatever we do, it take it as God's work. Good work will be transformed into God's work. We should lead a sacred life with such feelings. Then what is the fourth (line of the stanza)? This has to be done in our daily routine. Today we don't practice, we don't do anything that we are supposed to in our daily life.(SathyaSai Speaks on 17/02/1996)

Worry and grief of one sort or another will always be there, in the past, present, and future, while walking, dreaming, and sleeping. But place faith in the Lord and do your tasks as dedication to Him and they will definitely vanish! Remember the Lord with thankfulness at least thrice or even twice a day; that will give you great peace. Do not give up your worldly duties, but do them with the name of God on your lips. Do not involve yourselves in the affairs of others to the extent that you get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourselves. Spend your time in the contemplation of the beauties of nature, which are spread out before you in earth and sky - lovely green expanses, soothing and joyful cool breezes, the panorama of coloured clouds and the music of the birds. Sing the glories of God as you walk along. Do not talk hatefully, do not get angry, do not disturb the sky with your shouts and curses, and do not pollute the air with vengeful boasts.(Sathya Sai Speaks on 02/09/1958)

Sometimes it may so happen that you will find yourself in a different company and some among them may be bad. They may even abuse you and treat you in a bad manner. In such cases, you should make an attempt to communicate the good spiritual essence in your heart to them as well. When a sharp axe is used to cut a sandalwood tree, the sandalwood tree does not feel hurt by the axe nor does it get angry with it. On the contrary, the sandalwood tree hands its fragrance to the axe. The sandalwood is such that even when it is cut to pieces, it gives fragrance. Even when it is rubbed against another stone, it gives fragrance. This is the quality of good people.(Excerpts from Summer Showers in Indian Culture & Spiritualty,1973)

Friendship, in these days, can be illustrated by a story. A person had three friends. He had taken to several bad ways and consequently had to face a court case. He went to a friend and sought his help. The friend frankly told him that he would not like to associate himself with the crime committed by him. He refused to give evidence to rescue him. The second friend, when approached, told him that he would only go up to the court but would not be a witness in a witness box. Thereafter, he approached the third friend for help. He immediately responded and said, “Yes, your troubles are mine, my troubles are yours and I shall help you in whatever manner you wish me to help.” It is quite clear that amongst these three the third is the best kind of friend. For our life also, we have three such friends. At the time of death, one has to leave behind all that one owns. Wealth and status do not accompany In order to remain good, you must cultivate respect for truth which is permanent, whereas everything else including your body is subject to change, decay and death. So it is desirable to undertake various practices to win the grace of the Lord at this young age while you have the energy and ability to learn and concentrate. It is quite probable that some of your friends may point out to you that this is the age to make a success of yourself in worldly affairs. They will advise you to earn money and enjoy life. According to their way of thinking, the pursuit of God can be kept in abeyance till the age of retirement from active life. But, the fact is that the young age, being impressionable and formative, is the right age to develop sacred ideas and practise spiritual sadhanas. It is common knowledge that if throughout one’s life one pursues Maya, then at the time of death it will not be possible to divert one’s thoughts towards God. Therefore now is the time for you to lay the foundation for a good future. of prema. From now on, you should make a determination to cultivate friendships based upon love. Do not allow the current meaning of friendship to corrupt your minds.Friendship based on altruism adopts the motto: love for all and malice towards none, keeping in view the well-being of others, overlooking personal interests. Such an attitude makes life enjoyable and helps, also, to set right the world. Such attitudes make persons voluntarily give more and receive less, whereas if egoism creeps in you, then you like to receive more and give less. The difference in attitudes of egoists and altruists reveals the contradiction between the concept of ideal friendship and the actual manner in which it is practised in everyday life. Friendship should not be based on considerations of fear and favour. On the one hand, you try to be friendly with a person who is in authority and power out of fear; and on the other hand, you try to be friendly with an affluent and wealthy person in the hope of gaining some personal benefits. Wealth and status being temporary, our friendships will also turn out to be of a transitory nature. If a person is adopting wrong ways, a true friend should not be afraid of pointing out his errors with a view to improving him. It is not enough to merely share joy with each other; but it is more important to share the sorrow with each other. Sacred friendship is that which enables one to help others, at all times, and in all circumstances. (SathyaSai Speaks on Summer Showers on Indian Culture & Spirituality,1973)